233 W. Wilson Street, Batavia, IL, 60510

Life after Divorce: Moving Forward

Posted on in Divorce

Illinois child custody attorney, Illinois family law attorney, Illinois divorce lawyer,An Illinois woman’s social media photos that depict her celebrating her divorce have garnered international media attention. The woman hired the original photographer who took her wedding photographs five years ago to document the celebration, which included setting her wedding dress on fire. The woman, who said she was with her ex for a total of 10 years and who she shares a 6-year-old daughter with, said the experience made her “feel free.”

Although setting your wedding dress on fire may feel like an extreme choice to you, there are other steps you can take to help you move forward after a divorce.

Recognize Your Own Value

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The Emotional Effects of Divorce

Posted on in Divorce

Illinois child custody attorney, Illinois family law attorney, Illinois divorce lawyer,Divorce is one of the most stressful life experiences. People going through divorce may withdraw from social circles, feel disappointment and rejection, and lose self-esteem. All of these feelings, when coupled with financial and child custody issues, create an extremely stressful time for someone going through a divorce.

On the Holmes-Rahe Stress Inventory Scale, divorce ranks second only after the death of a spouse. Stressful events ranking lower than divorce on the scale include detention in jail, the death of a close family member and major illness or injury. Stress affects mental and physical health in a pronounced way.

Physical Health Effects

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Divorce Better for Children?

Posted on in Divorce

children, Batavia family law attorneyWhile the stigma surrounding the social implications of divorce has certainly lessened in the past few decades, there is still the question of whether or not divorcing when you have children is better or worse for the kids themselves. Most psychologists agree that staying in an unhealthy marriage is not good for children, but some argue that it is not better for a child to grow up without both parents, no matter what their relationship is like. These psychologists believe that a child is more apt to grow up stable if he or she has the structure of a two-parent home, and sees two adults working together in some capacity to raise him or her, regardless of the inner workings of their very personal relationship. Yet staying in an unhealthy marriage just for the kids may do damage not only to the children when they are young, but can also have lasting effects.

Cooperative Examples

The first point here negates the idea that a child is better off if he or she has the opportunity to see two adults working together to run a household, even if their relationship is not great. That is to say, a child is perhaps more sensitive to emotional implications and burdens of their parents than we may like to admit. Children can feel the tension between their parents, and this often leads to emotional scars and wounds that are not recognized for what they are, even as they are developing. A child who grows up in a joyless house, for example, even while she may have a broad understanding of partnership without love, may have trouble seeking joy in her adult life. A child who grows up in a home in which his parents do not respect each other may have trouble finding and giving respect later in life.

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infidelity, Batavia divorce lawyerThough extramarital affairs hardly carry the same weight of negative connotation that they did a half century ago, infidelity is still among the leading causes for divorce in American marriages. Marital infidelity is also serious issue when it comes to the process surrounding the dissolution of a marriage in court. The projected numbers as to the frequency of extramarital affairs are staggering: an estimated 45–50 percent of all married women and an estimated 50–60 percent of all married men in America have been unfaithful to their spouse at one point during the marriage, suggesting that a whopping half of all marriages in the country have, at some point, been affected by infidelity.

Not a Marital Death Sentence

This is not to say that all people who face the issue of infidelity in a marriage are destined for divorce. An estimated nearly two-thirds of all couples affected by infidelity choose to work through the issues and not to divorce as a direct result of the affair. To be fair, statistics that estimate how many couples stayed together initially but were unable to ultimately work it out are unavailable. Not all of the reasons for a couple staying together after one spouse is unfaithful are necessarily good ones, and not all marriages are truly worth saving, sadly. Many couples stay together because they are more afraid of being alone, are nervous about the impact on divorce, or because of financial implications.

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Avoid the Pitfalls of Social Media During Divorce

Posted on in Divorce

social media, divorce, Batavia divorce lawyerIt is no secret that divorce can be messy and complicated. This is all the more true with the proliferation of social media, a virtual world in which no secrets are left secret and no trauma is left private. If you are facing divorce, there are several lifestyle choices that you will have to make—beginning with finances, living arrangements, and parenting schedules. With these crucial and weighty decisions to make, it can seem a fool’s errand to attempt to also control less-important things like social media. And yet if you are going through divorce, understanding how to get your social media assets under control can be one of the most important things you can do.

Protecting Yourself

There are several reasons for this, and they are not all only applicable if you are going through a less-than-amicable divorce process. The first, and most obvious, is that it can be painful to watch your soon-to-be-ex spouse moving on with his or her life. You may be struggling to cope with the emotional and psychological effect of ending your marriage, while he or she may appear to be just fine. It is important to keep in mind that many social media experts remind users that the image you see of someone on Facebook or Twitter is often carefully manipulated and not a true depiction of reality.

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