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How Should We Communicate Once Our Illinois Divorce is Finalized?

 Posted on May 06, 2022 in Divorce Advice

IL divorce lawyerIllinois couples frequently get divorced because they struggle to communicate productively. Unfortunately, communication between high-conflict couples does not always get better once a divorce is finalized. But when a couple shares children, effective communication continues to be essential for many years to come as parents navigate the daily hurdles of school, extracurricular activities, healthcare, and more. If you are going through a divorce and hoping to maintain healthy communication habits throughout your co-parenting experience, here are some tips from divorce experts that may help.

Communicate in Writing Whenever Possible

Avoiding in-person discussions, including phone calls, helps many high-conflict couples avoid situations that can quickly escalate. Divorced spouses tend to be quite good at pushing each other’s buttons and in-person communication allows couples to easily fall into old communication patterns that involve contempt, sarcasm, or dismissiveness. Instead, experts suggest communicating only in writing. Email is the best option for this because it is less urgent than text messaging and allows both parties time to cool off between responses. It also allows both parties to keep each other’s messages, which can make everybody think more carefully about what they say.

Set Firm Boundaries

If you say that you will only communicate via email, stick to that at the beginning of your divorce and never waver unless absolutely necessary. Perhaps many months or years down the road, when some time has passed and the feelings of anger or hurt are no longer as strong, you can relax these boundaries. However, setting firm boundaries early on will make them easier to abide by later. And, of course, when your ex sets boundaries, do your best to respect them.

Agree to Mediation in Your Divorce Decree

Parents can agree to resolve future differences using mediation and can codify this agreement in their divorce decree. This can prevent future conflict from being litigated in expensive, drawn-out court fights, saving co-parents the money and time that they might otherwise spend fighting. More importantly, committing to mediation can save children from exposure to unnecessary conflict.

Schedule a Complimentary Consultation with a Batavia Divorce Lawyer

Managing communication with your ex can feel like a full-time job during divorce, especially if your relationship is prone to conflict. If you want help from an attorney who will manage the legal aspects of your divorce so you can focus on the interpersonal issues, contact the Law Office of Van A. Larson, P.C. today at 630-879-9090. We offer free consultations with our experienced Kane County divorce attorney so you can learn more about how we can help at no risk to you.




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