Splitting Up the Holidays with Your Ex

 Posted on January 22, 2026 in Child Custody

There are so many logistics to figure out after a divorce, including where children will spend holidays. The holidays are supposed to be joyful, but for divorced parents, they can bring stress instead.

If you are navigating holiday parenting time in 2026, here are a few suggestions to help you create a holiday schedule that keeps your child's needs first. Our Kane County family law attorney is always ready to step in if extra help is needed.

Do I Have to Give My Ex Holidays with Our Kids?

Under Illinois law 750 ILCS 5/602.7, parenting plans must give specific details about holidays, school breaks, and special occasions. Courts expect parents to clearly define these times to avoid fights.

Holiday parenting time usually takes priority over your regular parenting schedule. If the holiday schedule gives that day to the other parent, the holiday schedule wins even if your regular schedule says your child would be with you.

Illinois courts sometimes want parents to alternate holidays between even and odd years. If one parent celebrates different religious holidays from the other, the court may make the schedule so each parent gets their important religious days every year instead of alternating.

Common Ways to Split Holidays Between Divorced Parents

Dividing Holidays into Groups

The most common approach is to divide holidays into two groups and alternate them every year. One parent might get Thanksgiving and Easter in even years, while the other has Christmas and New Year's. Then the schedule flips for odd years.

Many plans give Mother's Day to the mother and Father's Day to the father. The same is often true for each parent's birthday. For the children's birthdays, parents may alternate years.

Holiday schedules also address longer breaks like winter break, spring break, and summer vacation. Many parents use the same alternating system for these breaks.

Splitting the Actual Holiday Between Parents

Some parents split the actual holiday itself. One parent could have the children for Christmas Eve and Christmas morning and then hand them off for Christmas afternoon. This can be stressful, though. Many families find it works better to give each parent a full day or an overnight period.

How to Make a Holiday Schedule That Works for Divorced Families

The best holiday schedules come from parents working together. List all the holidays that matter to your family, including major holidays, school holidays, and religious observances.

Talk honestly with your co-parent about which holidays are most important to each of you. When you can trade holidays based on what matters most, everyone wins. Put everything in writing, like a contract. Your parenting plan should explain exactly when each holiday period begins and ends.

What to Avoid When Making a Joint Custody Holiday Schedule

Don’t make your children feel guilty about spending time with the other parent. The holidays should be about their happiness, not making them worry about your feelings. Avoid last-minute schedule changes whenever possible. Children need predictability during busy holiday seasons.

When making your holiday plan, do not insist on having the kids on a day that you know is important to your ex spouse to spite them. Do not use holiday time as a bargaining chip or punishment. Courts take violations of parenting plans seriously. If one parent repeatedly denies scheduled holiday time, the affected parent can ask the court for make-up time.

What Happens If You Cannot Agree On a Holiday Schedule?

If you and your co-parent cannot agree on how to divide holidays, the court will likely send you to mediation before a judge will make custody decisions. A trained mediator can help you find solutions.

If mediation does not work, each parent can submit their proposed holiday schedule to the court. The judge will create a schedule based on what serves the child's best interests. They will look at factors like how close you live to each other, work schedules, the child's age and preferences, and any history of interference with parenting time.

Call a Kane County, IL Child Custody Attorney Today

Creating a fair holiday parenting schedule takes planning and flexibility. Attorney Larson's background as a prosecutor with the Kane County State's Attorney's Office and his appointment as one of the county's first Special Conflict Defenders gives him valuable courtroom experience.

Whether you are starting your divorce or need to modify an existing schedule, our Batavia family law lawyer at the Law Office of Van A. Larson, P.C. can help. Call 630-879-9090 today to schedule your free initial consultation.