Why Divorce Is Not a Failure
Divorce is tough. Period. There are the big things: deciding who gets to keep what; child custody (now parental responsibilities); and saying goodbye to family members who you may never see again. There are the small things: your ex-spouse’s favorite restaurant; passing someone on the street wearing your former partner's favorite scent; the abandonment of places and activities you used to share together. These all contribute to why divorce is consistently rated the second-most stressful and painful thing that a person can go through in life—second only to the death of a spouse or child. This, of course, is because divorce can be considered as the death of love; the death of commitment, the death of the future you had planned together.
Yet through it all, it is crucial to remember that your divorce is not a failure. Understanding that the divorce, in the long run, may actually be a success for both you and your spouse is crucial to being able to truly move on and get past the pain.
The first thing to remember is that there is a reason for divorce—even if you were not the one to initiate it. Seeking a divorce to end an unhappy marriage can be one of the bravest and most courageous things that a person can do. It is (very literally) taking life into one’s own hands, and learning how to be a complete, whole person independent of someone else. It can, in this case, be considered a step toward a better life, not a worse one. Once you have gotten out of a bad marriage, there is also the lesson of self-care that many people learn—a lesson that many adults fail to grasp throughout life when in a co-dependent relationship.
You can also take solace in the fact that, while you may be seemingly dismantling your life, all those assets and memories are what made the relationship worth it for as long as it was. Do not discredit the power of positivity and understanding the importance of holding those memories dear. Divorce can be an opportunity to reinvent yourself and create a brand new life that you would never have had the chance to do. Anything other than taking full advantage of such a chance is a disservice to yourself.
Working with a qualified legal professional can help to soothe the emotional burden of divorce by allowing you to feel confident that at least the legal issues will be handled effectively. Do not go through it alone. If you are considering divorce, contact an experienced Kane County divorce attorney today.