Recent Blog Posts
Marital Health: Warning Signs May Be Evident in the Bedroom
More than 4 million Americans enter into marriage every year, of which, virtually all do so with the hope and expectation of building a life with a partner they love and trust. It is an unfortunate reality that half of those marriages or more fail to live up to that expectation, ending in separation and divorce. Many divorcing couples, however, are surprised to realize in hindsight that their romantic relationship may have revealed clues that their marriage was actually in trouble.
While not necessarily true in other cultures throughout the world, Western culture places a large degree of importance on sexual attraction between partners in a marriage. Author, psychologist and television personality, Dr. Phil McGraw maintains 'the belief that sex is not important is a dangerous and intimacy-eroding myth. [Sex] allows us to experience a quality level of closeness, vulnerability and sharing with our partners. 'A healthy sexual relationship with your spouse bodes very well for the overall health of the marriage.
Advocates for Children: Guardian ad Litem and Child Representative
Separation and divorce are difficult in the best of situations. Unresolved issues, whether legal or emotional, can place a great deal of stress on both spouses and often lead to contentiousness and hostility. For a couple with children, these feelings can, unfortunately, spill over into proceedings related to the children's welfare such as child custody or child support hearings.
Too often, parents are tempted to use children as leverage in an effort to benefit from the proceedings. In such cases, the well-being of the children can seem to be ignored by either parent determined not to let the other side 'win. To prevent the children from becoming a secondary concern, Illinois law permits the presiding judge in any child-related proceeding to appoint an attorney to look after the best interests of the child.
What You Should Know About No-Fault Divorce
Illinois is one of many states that allow a couple to dissolve their marriage without either party being considered at fault. Of course, there are many situations in which a couple may divorce on fault grounds, but a large number of couples find themselves in a broken marriage without meeting any of the criteria necessary for an at fault divorce.
The advent of no-fault divorce in the United States began to take shape in the 1960s and 70s. At the time, a person wishing to get divorced was required to prove that something harmful was occurring in the marriage, such as infidelity, cruelty, or abuse. In cases where such things were occurring, they could be difficult to prove. In cases where such things were not occurring, it was common for individuals to lie and commit perjury to facilitate the divorce. Divorce courts and attorneys were seen to be complicit with such behavior and, therefore, drew a level of disdain from the rest of the legal community.
Changes to Spousal Support Laws to Take Effect
In August of 2014, the Illinois legislature enacted a measure to help standardize orders regarding alimony or, as it is legally known in Illinois, spousal maintenance. Maintenance orders were originally intended to protect a financially dependent partner recover after divorce, but as the average American marriage has evolved, many believe the law lagged behind. Specifically, there has been growing concern that awards were becoming less predictable due to number of variables involved and the wide discretion afforded to judges by the current law.
Set to go into effect on January 1, 2015, the new law amends the existing statute to provide a formula for calculating both the amount of a maintenance award and its expected duration. Prior to the amendments, the court had full discretion and only precedent upon which to determine the specifics of a support order. Taking into account such considerations as income, assets, and needs of the family, as well as health and educational factors, each presiding judge's perspective would be inevitably colored by his or her own experiences and tendencies. Subsequently, the resulting orders reflected the individuality of the court. The amended law hopes to minimize the variation and establish expected baselines for spousal maintenance in Illinois.
Back Burners and the Rise of Internet Infidelity
The Internet age has presented a whole new generation of temptations to those in a committed relationship. Twenty years ago, a discreet affair may have been carried on through discreet letters, phony late-night work meetings, or at the expense of a spouse who traveled often. Today, a smartphone and a Facebook account may be all that is necessary to disrupt a marriage.
Researchers at Indiana University-Purdue University Fort Wayne recently conducted a study which looked at the way individuals in relationships may use social media technology to keep in touch with 'back burners. The study defined a back burner as 'a desired potential or continuing romantic/sexual partner with whom one communicates but to whom one is not exclusively committed. Put another way, the research observed how Facebook and text messaging can be used to create a romantic back-up plan.
What survey found was that men maintain back burners nearly twice as much as women, but on average, respondents reported 'romantic or sexual conversations with two people' other than their spouse or partner. Many may be quick to shrug off the findings as mainly harmless chatting that does not rise to the level of actual cheating. However, emotional infidelity can be just a damaging to a relationship and is now being included in sex research studies. ''If you're rushing away from the dinner table with your family to check your email, it's affecting your relationship,' says Helen Fisher, biological anthropology professor at Rutgers University.
Illinois Family Law: What is Spousal Abuse?
Too often both men and women feel trapped within a marriage--aware they are not happy, and yet unable to justify to themselves a reason to obtain a divorce in Illinois. In many of these cases, one or both parties are not even aware of the physical, and especially psychological damages remaining in an unhappy relationship can cause.
The phrase 'domestic violence' normally carries the connotation of a stereotypical abusive man using physical means to impose will or control over his partner. Physical violence is not always the problem however, as spousal abuse extends to verbal and emotional torment as well.
Consider the following list of common forms of abuse:
- Physical'Abuse: This incorporates pushing, punching, slapping, as well as unwarranted restraint.
Illinois Residents Still Waiting for New Child Support Model
No matter where you live, your state has regulations in place regarding child support obligations. The laws establish guidelines as to what a non-custodial parent can expect to pay after a breakup or divorce. There are several methods a state may use to determine the amount of support to be paid, which all take different factors into account. Unfortunately, many feel the model currently in use under Illinois law is bit outdated and not quite as fair as one particular model being used by many other states.
Percentage of Obligor Net Income
The support model currently used in Illinois is called 'percentage of obligor net income. Under this model, the guidelines consider only two variables: the number of children to be supported; and the income of the non-custodial parent. Using a sliding scale based on the number of children, the support obligation is a specific percentage of the payor's net income. The court is allowed some discretion to consider the specific details of each family's situation, but short of the court finding the amount inappropriate for particular reason, the law's calculation is entered in the order.
A Different Approach to Halloween After Divorce
Summer is over and school has started. As the leaves begin to fall, the evidence is clear. The holiday season is right around the corner. Many post-divorce families struggle with major holidays, having to juggle custody arrangements, making sure the kids get to visit the requisite family members for an 'appropriate' amount of time, and trying to maintain traditions in a changing situation. A relatively minor holiday to most families, this Halloween may be the perfect opportunity to try something a bit different and get this year's holiday season off to cooperative and enjoyable start.
Nobody has to convince the kids to get excited about Halloween. Young girls start deciding in September whether to dress as Elsa or Anna from Frozen. Boys consider which Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle will be the most fun. Meanwhile, mom and dad are left to figure out who the kids are supposed to be with this year, which parent lives in the safest neighborhood for trick-or-treating, and which parent may miss out on the kids' fun night. One'About.com single parent expert'suggests that Halloween could be a prime opportunity for ex-spouses to both get involved and offers several reasons to do so.
Dealing with Financial Infidelity in a Marriage
To most people in a committed relationship, infidelity by one partner can be a deal breaker. If they are married, a couple must decide to try and overcome the actions of an unfaithful spouse or face the possibility of divorce. When cheating is physical or sexual, emotions between the partners can range from sadness and hurt to jealousy and anger. Many married individuals who would never cheat, however, do keep secrets from their spouse and deceive their partner financially. While it may not seem to be as serious as cheating, a recent survey found that more than half of all adults consider financial honesty as important as monogamy.
Financial infidelity can occur when, despite a couple sharing the household finances, one partner decides to hide some of their own financial decisions or history. The National Endowment for Financial Education (NEFE) funded a Harris Poll in early 2014 which estimated one in three adults have hidden a purchase, account, statement, or income from their partner. Additionally, more than ten percent have 'committed more severe deceptions,' including lying to their partner about amount or nature of their income or debt. 'The survey also found that when it occurs, financial infidelity often has an impact on the relationship.
The Basics of Paternity in Illinois
A middle-aged host opens the envelope, reads the results, pauses for effect, and then confidently declares, 'You are NOT the father!' 'The audience cheers or groans; the mother theatrically celebrates or crumples. Although it has become a television clich', most people will never ask a daytime talk-show for DNA testing to verify their relationship to their children. Thousands of children are born to unmarried parents each year, and in most cases, the child's father establishes paternity quite easily.
While genetic testing can prove (or at least provide an overwhelming statistical likelihood) that a particular man is a child's biological father, the test alone does not make the man the legal father. When a child is born to unmarried parents in Illinois, legal paternity can be established in one of three ways:
Map and Directions
