Between the two parents, a father is generally in greater danger of seeing his relationship with his children diminish after a divorce. Mothers more often receive a majority of the parenting time during the allocation of parental responsibilities. Because mothers are more likely to be the caretakers during the marriage, courts often choose the mother as the primary parent. However, children’s relationships with their fathers are also important in their happiness and development. Fathers who see their children less often after a divorce must work to remain an active part of their lives:
- Advocating for Parenting Time: A father has an equal right to be the primary parent of his children after a divorce if he can prove that living with him is in their best interest. If a court grants the mother primary responsibility over the children, the father can still fight for a greater share of parenting time. A 60-40 division of parenting time would give him an additional day each week with his children as opposed to a 70-30 division.
- Taking on New Roles: The father no longer has the mother to rely on when he has his time alone with the children. He is both parents in one and has parental duties that he may be unfamiliar with performing, such as being a caretaker, nurturer, disciplinarian or playmate.
- Being a Father Figure: A father can teach his children lessons that the mother cannot. Most importantly, a father defines what a grown man is to his children. Sons learn what kind of man they should be when they grow up. Daughters learn what qualities they should look for in the men they allow into their lives as adults.
- Being Present and Available: Fathers should treat their time with their children as more than an obligation to look after them. They should find ways to interact with their children, such as planning fun activities. Fathers can extend their roles when they are not with their children by encouraging electronic communication.
- Staying Positive: A father’s time with his children should not involve complaining about the mother or trying to pump the child for information about the mother. The father should instead focus on his relationship with his children and only talk about their mother in as far as how it relates to what is happening in their lives.
No one can replicate a biological father’s importance in his children’s lives. A Kane County divorce attorney at Van Larson Law, P.C., can protect your rights as a father during your divorce. Schedule a consultation by calling 630-879-9090.