Recognizing that your marriage may be coming to an end can take you months, if not years, to put into words. You have likely felt your relationship deteriorating over time but have not been ready to accept that ending the marriage may be what is best for you and your spouse. Before filing for divorce, many couples will live apart to gauge their feelings towards their spouse and their life together. In fact, Illinois may require you to live separately for six months before you are legally able to divorce if your spouse does not agree to the divorce. With the thought of divorce swirling in your head, you are likely having a number of feelings come over you all at once — remembering the good times you have had together, but feeling unsure if this outweighs your current discontent. Every marriage is different and there is no “right” or “wrong” answer, but divorce experts have recognized a few common signs that may point towards a need for divorce.
Everything Falls on You
Marriage is a partnership that requires patience and an ability to compromise. When arguments come up, do you feel as if the blame is always on you? In many cases, one spouse can feel forced to compromise during every disagreement, and after years of blame, their marriage will feel less like a partnership and more one-sided. If your partner makes you feel as if everything is your fault and fails to listen to your ideas or opinions, your unhappiness is likely stemming from this imbalance and it may be a sign that the relationship is no longer right for you.
You Are Tired of Fighting
It is normal and healthy for couples to argue because two people cannot agree on everything. However, when arguments are a daily occurrence and you are no longer interested in fixing the problem, you have likely detached yourself from the relationship. Couples who are willing to seek out additional support to better themselves and their marriage are actively working on improving their future. Those who are uninterested in putting in the additional effort should reconsider their feelings about their life moving forward.
Consider Your Kids
Many couples will stay together because they believe that getting divorced will hurt their children and make their adolescence difficult. What these parents fail to recognize is that children often emulate their parents’ relationship since this is what they are used to seeing. As a parent, you should ask yourself, “Is this the marriage that I would like my child to have in the future?” Kids are more intuitive than parents give them credit for and they are likely aware of your unhappiness in your relationship. If you would not want your child to have a marriage like yours, then you should not allow yourself to settle either.
Call a Kane County Divorce Lawyer
Coming to the conclusion that divorce is what is best for your family is no easy task. Even if you are unhappy, the fear of starting over can keep you in your marriages much longer than you would have wished. The legal team at Van Larson Law, P.C., are well equipped to help guide you through the divorce process, assisting in areas such as asset division, allocation of parental responsibilities, spousal support payments, and more. Our attorney has over 39 years of experience practicing law in Illinois. If you are considering divorce, contact our Batavia, Illinois, divorce attorney at 630-879-9090 to schedule your free consultation.