233 W. Wilson Street, Batavia, IL, 60510

no fault divorce in Illinois, Batavia family law attorneyIllinois is one of many states that allow a couple to dissolve their marriage without either party being considered at fault. Of course, there are many situations in which a couple may divorce on fault grounds, but a large number of couples find themselves in a broken marriage without meeting any of the criteria necessary for an at fault divorce.

The advent of no-fault divorce in the United States began to take shape in the 1960s and 70s. At the time, a person wishing to get divorced was required to prove that something harmful was occurring in the marriage, such as infidelity, cruelty, or abuse. In cases where such things were occurring, they could be difficult to prove. In cases where such things were not occurring, it was common for individuals to lie and commit perjury to facilitate the divorce. Divorce courts and attorneys were seen to be complicit with such behavior and, therefore, drew a level of disdain from the rest of the legal community.

In 1969, California became the first state to allow for a no-fault divorce. Since then, each of the 50 states has added some form of a no-fault provision to their divorce laws. There are some who believe that no-fault divorce has contributed significantly to the rise in the divorce rate over the last four decades and there may be some truth to that idea. However, others insist that many of the divorces would have been granted anyway, but under false pretenses and with an increased level of hostility between the divorcing parties.

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Internet infidelity, Kane County divorce attorneyThe Internet age has presented a whole new generation of temptations to those in a committed relationship. Twenty years ago, a discreet affair may have been carried on through discreet letters, phony late-night work meetings, or at the expense of a spouse who traveled often. Today, a smartphone and a Facebook account may be all that is necessary to disrupt a marriage.

Researchers at Indiana University-Purdue University Fort Wayne recently conducted a study which looked at the way individuals in relationships may use social media technology to keep in touch with 'back burners. The study defined a back burner as 'a desired potential or continuing romantic/sexual partner with whom one communicates but to whom one is not exclusively committed. Put another way, the research observed how Facebook and text messaging can be used to create a romantic back-up plan.

What survey found was that men maintain back burners nearly twice as much as women, but on average, respondents reported 'romantic or sexual conversations with two people' other than their spouse or partner. Many may be quick to shrug off the findings as mainly harmless chatting that does not rise to the level of actual cheating. However, emotional infidelity can be just a damaging to a relationship and is now being included in sex research studies. ''If you're rushing away from the dinner table with your family to check your email, it's affecting your relationship,' says Helen Fisher, biological anthropology professor at Rutgers University.

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spousal abuse in Illinois, Kane County domestic violence attorneyToo often both men and women feel trapped within a marriage--aware they are not happy, and yet unable to justify to themselves a reason to obtain a divorce in Illinois. In many of these cases, one or both parties are not even aware of the physical, and especially psychological damages remaining in an unhappy relationship can cause.

The phrase 'domestic violence' normally carries the connotation of a stereotypical abusive man using physical means to impose will or control over his partner. Physical violence is not always the problem however, as spousal abuse extends to verbal and emotional torment as well.

Consider the following list of common forms of abuse:

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financial infidelity, Kane County family law attorneyTo most people in a committed relationship, infidelity by one partner can be a deal breaker. If they are married, a couple must decide to try and overcome the actions of an unfaithful spouse or face the possibility of divorce. When cheating is physical or sexual, emotions between the partners can range from sadness and hurt to jealousy and anger. Many married individuals who would never cheat, however, do keep secrets from their spouse and deceive their partner financially. While it may not seem to be as serious as cheating, a recent survey found that more than half of all adults consider financial honesty as important as monogamy.

Financial infidelity can occur when, despite a couple sharing the household finances, one partner decides to hide some of their own financial decisions or history. The National Endowment for Financial Education (NEFE) funded a Harris Poll in early 2014 which estimated one in three adults have hidden a purchase, account, statement, or income from their partner. Additionally, more than ten percent have 'committed more severe deceptions,' including lying to their partner about amount or nature of their income or debt. 'The survey also found that when it occurs, financial infidelity often has an impact on the relationship.

Both recovering from financial infidelity and preventing it in the first place require a similar approach. First, the couple must be able to be honest with each other regarding debts and income and may choose to enlist the help of a financial planner. It is also important for the partners to have regular financial discussions, and to each have some responsibility for the household bills. Each spouse should also have access to joint accounts so that hiding transactions becomes much more difficult. Finally, NEFE recommends a certain amount of 'no questions asked' spending money be agreed upon, so that both partners may still have a degree of freedom without the need for deception.

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teenage angst, effects of depression, divorce, Batavia divorce attorney, Illinois family attorney, Are the lasting effects from teenage depression or anger affecting your marriage decades later?

A 25 year Canadian study has determined that untreated anger or depression we experience as young adults can still affect our romantic relationships years later. Titled Depression and Anger Across 25 Years: Changing Vulnerabilities in the VSA Model, the study was recently published in the Journal of Family Psychology.

Researchers at the University of Alberta began the study in 1985. There were 178 women and 163 men who participated in the study. They were surveyed during what researchers considered the adult transitional years of 18 to 25 years old. They were then surveyed at 32 years of age to find out what their perception of their own stress levels were. At the age of 43, they were surveyed to find out what the quality of their intimate relationships was.

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