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Kane County family law attorney - Page 10
233 W. Wilson Street, Batavia, IL, 60510

Marital Health: Warning Signs May Be Evident in the Bedroom

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divorce warning signs in the bedroom, Kane County family lawyerMore than 4 million Americans enter into marriage every year, of which, virtually all do so with the hope and expectation of building a life with a partner they love and trust. It is an unfortunate reality that half of those marriages or more fail to live up to that expectation, ending in separation and divorce. Many divorcing couples, however, are surprised to realize in hindsight that their romantic relationship may have revealed clues that their marriage was actually in trouble.

While not necessarily true in other cultures throughout the world, Western culture places a large degree of importance on sexual attraction between partners in a marriage. Author, psychologist and television personality, Dr. Phil McGraw maintains 'the belief that sex is not important is a dangerous and intimacy-eroding myth. [Sex] allows us to experience a quality level of closeness, vulnerability and sharing with our partners. 'A healthy sexual relationship with your spouse bodes very well for the overall health of the marriage.

Signs of trouble in your marriage, however, may show up in your sex life first. It may initially seem easy to dismiss them as physical or emotional anomalies, but sometimes, they may be symptoms of much deeper relational issues. For example, if you find yourself making excuses to avoid sexual contact with your spouse, or you feel your spouse is only being sexual out of guilt, it is very likely that there are underlying reasons that might be completely unrelated to sex itself.

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What You Should Know About No-Fault Divorce

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no fault divorce in Illinois, Batavia family law attorneyIllinois is one of many states that allow a couple to dissolve their marriage without either party being considered at fault. Of course, there are many situations in which a couple may divorce on fault grounds, but a large number of couples find themselves in a broken marriage without meeting any of the criteria necessary for an at fault divorce.

The advent of no-fault divorce in the United States began to take shape in the 1960s and 70s. At the time, a person wishing to get divorced was required to prove that something harmful was occurring in the marriage, such as infidelity, cruelty, or abuse. In cases where such things were occurring, they could be difficult to prove. In cases where such things were not occurring, it was common for individuals to lie and commit perjury to facilitate the divorce. Divorce courts and attorneys were seen to be complicit with such behavior and, therefore, drew a level of disdain from the rest of the legal community.

In 1969, California became the first state to allow for a no-fault divorce. Since then, each of the 50 states has added some form of a no-fault provision to their divorce laws. There are some who believe that no-fault divorce has contributed significantly to the rise in the divorce rate over the last four decades and there may be some truth to that idea. However, others insist that many of the divorces would have been granted anyway, but under false pretenses and with an increased level of hostility between the divorcing parties.

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Back Burners and the Rise of Internet Infidelity

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Internet infidelity, Kane County divorce attorneyThe Internet age has presented a whole new generation of temptations to those in a committed relationship. Twenty years ago, a discreet affair may have been carried on through discreet letters, phony late-night work meetings, or at the expense of a spouse who traveled often. Today, a smartphone and a Facebook account may be all that is necessary to disrupt a marriage.

Researchers at Indiana University-Purdue University Fort Wayne recently conducted a study which looked at the way individuals in relationships may use social media technology to keep in touch with 'back burners. The study defined a back burner as 'a desired potential or continuing romantic/sexual partner with whom one communicates but to whom one is not exclusively committed. Put another way, the research observed how Facebook and text messaging can be used to create a romantic back-up plan.

What survey found was that men maintain back burners nearly twice as much as women, but on average, respondents reported 'romantic or sexual conversations with two people' other than their spouse or partner. Many may be quick to shrug off the findings as mainly harmless chatting that does not rise to the level of actual cheating. However, emotional infidelity can be just a damaging to a relationship and is now being included in sex research studies. ''If you're rushing away from the dinner table with your family to check your email, it's affecting your relationship,' says Helen Fisher, biological anthropology professor at Rutgers University.

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Illinois Family Law: What is Spousal Abuse?

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spousal abuse in Illinois, Kane County domestic violence attorneyToo often both men and women feel trapped within a marriage--aware they are not happy, and yet unable to justify to themselves a reason to obtain a divorce in Illinois. In many of these cases, one or both parties are not even aware of the physical, and especially psychological damages remaining in an unhappy relationship can cause.

The phrase 'domestic violence' normally carries the connotation of a stereotypical abusive man using physical means to impose will or control over his partner. Physical violence is not always the problem however, as spousal abuse extends to verbal and emotional torment as well.

Consider the following list of common forms of abuse:

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Dealing with Financial Infidelity in a Marriage

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financial infidelity, Kane County family law attorneyTo most people in a committed relationship, infidelity by one partner can be a deal breaker. If they are married, a couple must decide to try and overcome the actions of an unfaithful spouse or face the possibility of divorce. When cheating is physical or sexual, emotions between the partners can range from sadness and hurt to jealousy and anger. Many married individuals who would never cheat, however, do keep secrets from their spouse and deceive their partner financially. While it may not seem to be as serious as cheating, a recent survey found that more than half of all adults consider financial honesty as important as monogamy.

Financial infidelity can occur when, despite a couple sharing the household finances, one partner decides to hide some of their own financial decisions or history. The National Endowment for Financial Education (NEFE) funded a Harris Poll in early 2014 which estimated one in three adults have hidden a purchase, account, statement, or income from their partner. Additionally, more than ten percent have 'committed more severe deceptions,' including lying to their partner about amount or nature of their income or debt. 'The survey also found that when it occurs, financial infidelity often has an impact on the relationship.

Both recovering from financial infidelity and preventing it in the first place require a similar approach. First, the couple must be able to be honest with each other regarding debts and income and may choose to enlist the help of a financial planner. It is also important for the partners to have regular financial discussions, and to each have some responsibility for the household bills. Each spouse should also have access to joint accounts so that hiding transactions becomes much more difficult. Finally, NEFE recommends a certain amount of 'no questions asked' spending money be agreed upon, so that both partners may still have a degree of freedom without the need for deception.

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Serving Northern Illinois cities such as Algonquin, Aurora, Barrington Hills, Bartlett, Batavia, Big Rock, Burlington, Campton, Carpentersville, Dundee, East Dundee, Elburn, Elgin, Geneva, Gilberts, Hampshire, Huntley, Kaneville, Lily Lake, Maple Park, Montgomery, North Aurora, Plato, Sleepy Hollow, South Elgin, St. Charles, Sugar Grove, Virgil, Wayne, West Chicago, West Dundee, Yorkville, Afton, Clinton, Cortland, DeKalb, Franklin, Genoa, Hinckley, Kingston, Kirkland, Lee, Malta, Maple Park, Mayfield, Milan, Paw Paw, Pierce, Sandwich, Shabbona, Somonauk, South Grove, Squaw Grove, Sycamore, Victor, Waterman, Big Grove, Boulder Hill, Bristol, Joliet, Kendall, Lisbon, Minooka, Montgomery, Oswego, Plainfield, Plano, Sandwich, Yorkville as well as Kane County, Kendall County and DeKalb County.
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