233 W. Wilson Street, Batavia, IL, 60510
Proving Your Former Spouse Has Violated Your Divorce OrderA well-crafted divorce settlement gets its teeth from your ability to enforce it. Even after all the hours of negotiation, your former spouse may decide he or she no longer agrees with the terms of the settlement. Instead of just asking you to renegotiate, he or she may refuse to complying with the agreed-upon divorce terms, such as:

A divorce agreement is a court order, and violating it may result in civil and criminal penalties. If your former spouse refuses to obey your divorce order, you can take him or her to court by filing a Petition for Rule to Show Cause. However, you must show that your spouse is willfully in contempt of the order. You can help your case by preparing supporting evidence for both your petition and your hearing.

Documentation

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Preparing for Financial Negotiations During Your DivorceThough divorce is often an emotional decision, financial considerations become equally important during the divorce process. Both sides need the settlement to establish their financial independence and security. A favorable divorce settlement can grant you valuable assets from your marriage and long-term relief in the form of spousal support. Before the financial negotiations start, there are actions you can take to prepare and protect yourself.

Separating Money

It is common for spouses to combine their incomes in a joint bank account. You will still have access to that account during your divorce, but your future income should go into a bank account that is solely in your name. There are several advantages to this:

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Forgiveness Heals After Your DivorceBefore your divorce has even finished, you may feel anxious to move forward with your life. The end of your marriage was painful, but your life as a newly single person fills you with optimism. However, the anger and hurt from your marriage can linger long after your divorce. You can try to forget your resentment, but that is not the same as moving past it. Divorce therapists believe forgiveness is one of the most powerful healing tools for divorcees. Before starting a new relationship, you may need to forgive your former spouse for the end of your previous relationship.

Reasons for Resentment

You are unlikely to reach the point of forgiveness without first recognizing your resentment. You may have a valid reason to be angry at your former spouse if he or she was involved in:

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divorce, Batavia family law attorneyDivorce is tough. Period. There are the big things: deciding who gets to keep what; child custody (now parental responsibilities); and saying goodbye to family members who you may never see again. There are the small things: your ex-spouse’s favorite restaurant; passing someone on the street wearing your former partner's favorite scent; the abandonment of places and activities you used to share together. These all contribute to why divorce is consistently rated the second-most stressful and painful thing that a person can go through in life—second only to the death of a spouse or child. This, of course, is because divorce can be considered as the death of love; the death of commitment, the death of the future you had planned together.

Yet through it all, it is crucial to remember that your divorce is not a failure. Understanding that the divorce, in the long run, may actually be a success for both you and your spouse is crucial to being able to truly move on and get past the pain.

 Important Considerations

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divorce, narcopath, Kane County divorce attorneyThere are countless reasons why a couple may decide that they are ready for divorce. The psychological state or condition of one half of the couple is definitely one of them. Just as broad definitions of different types of relationships continue to gain traction, so do the names and conditions of psychology. One of the most recent psychological terms coined by marriage counselors and psychologists is that of the “narcopath,” a person who is considered both a psychopath and a narcissist. This can be dreadful combination in a spouse, that could potentially result in emotional abuse of the other spouse, and subsequent divorce.

Like many subtle psychological conditions that can ruin a marriage, a narcopath does not necessarily display his or her condition outright. That is, the abuse perpetuated by such a person can sometimes be so disguised that the victim in the relationship does not notice the signs. These may include that the person is very good at fooling others in order to get what he or she wants. Another may be that any criticism is always handled in an extremely negative manner, which does not allow the other person to give constructive feedback. Another subtle sign is an inflated sense of self or ego.

This behavior could date all the way back to the beginning of the marriage, in fact. Narcissists, for example, frequently want their partner to agree to get married, but do not necessarily want marriage. The wedding is the appeal of the following through with the commitment—not the commitment itself. That is to say, narcissists want the opportunity for a large ceremony to celebrate themselves, rather than to make a public statement of long-lasting love.

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