Knowing when to call it quits can be one of the most complicated decisions when it comes to marriage. Facing divorce may seem not such a big deal, given its common occurrence in today’s society, but when actually confronted with the decision to split from your spouse, it is not always as easy as it looks. Understanding your own personal reasons for divorce can help to soften the blow—that is, knowing that your relationship is not as healthy as it should or could be can help you to move on with confidence in your decision. So just what makes a relationship or a marriage an unhealthy one, and not just one plagued with the normal ups and downs (mostly downs) of everyday life?
There are several signs that indicate that the marriage is unhealthy and unsalvageable, neither by therapy nor perseverance. One of these is if your spouse is an addict. If your spouse is an addict, he or she may be able to move past the addiction with proper care and therapy, but if he or she has already gone through this and it has not proven effective, then divorce may be the way out. Another is if he or she is abusive. This does not necessarily have to be physical (emotional and financial abuse are real issues that are almost as equally unhealthy), but if there is physical abuse, divorce is most probably the best solution.
There are smaller issues that indicate that divorce is a good option for you as well. If you feel as if you cannot take your spouse with you anywhere, for example—if he or she embarrasses you or engages in public behavior with which you do not identify—it will be difficult to find common ground. Having the ability to engage publically with your spouse is key to a successful marriage. There is also, of course, the issue of communication. If your spouse cannot communicate in healthy ways, and resorts to screaming or lying, the marriage will not ultimately work.
If you have experienced any of these traits and are considering divorce, the most important step is to seek legal counsel. Do not go through it alone. Contact an experienced Batavia, IL family law attorney today.