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Safety in an Abusive Relationship

abusive relationship, violence, domestic violence, domestic abuse, Kane County family lawyer, family law, order of protection, IllinoisSometimes people in abusive relationships think that the relationship will get better or they don’t think they can leave. Whatever the reason may be, there are many people suffering from domestic abuse and they need to know how to keep themselves safe in the relationship and even if they choose to leave.

DomesticViolence.org offers tips to domestic abuse victims to stay safe.

If you are in a relationship with abuse, but you do not want to or you feel you cannot leave:

  • Have important phone numbers available for you and your children such as an abuse hotline, a shelter, the police, and friends;
  • Tell nearby friends about the abuse so they can call the police if they hear anything suspicious in your home. A code word can also be used to notify them;
  • Practice a quick escape route out of your home;
  • Have safe places in your home where there are exits and no weapons;
  • Avoid having weapons in your home;
  • Have an escape plan ready including somewhere to go if you do choose to leave.

If you are planning on leaving:

  • Have four places you could go if you leave;
  • Know what people would help you escape;
  • Open a bank account under only your name for emergency funds;
  • Know how and when you would leave and how you would get your children out;
  • Have a bag packed of items you use every day.

Items you should pack include:

  • Money;
  • Car, house, and work keys;
  • Clothes;
  • Medicine;
  • Important papers for you ‘and your children. This can include the following:’Birth certificates, school records, unpaid bills, passports/green cards, insurance papers, lease/rental agreements, social security cards;
  • Driver’s license.

If you have already left:

  • Get a protection order from the court. If you are in immediate danger, you ‘can get a temporary order that will last a few weeks until you can get a permanent order.
  • Change your locks and tell friends and neighbors to watch out for your abuser around the home.
  • Have a list of people who are allowed to pick up your children from school, playdates, practice, etc.
  • Ask someone at work to screen your calls.
  • If you must talk to your abuser, find a safe way to do so.

Most importantly, go over your safety plan often and keep it up to date. If you are going to or you have recently left your abuser and you are trying to get an order or protection, divorce, or custody of your children, contact a family law attorney. Van A. Larson, P.C. Attorney and Counselor at Law can help you in a Batavia, Ill. family courts today.

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