233 W. Wilson Street, Batavia, IL, 60510

 Kane County divorce lawyerDivorce can be a challenging period of life for all parties involved. This can be compounded if the couple filing shares underage children. Though it can be easy to get swept up in your emotions and remain distracted by all the legal proceedings and unexpected life changes, it is imperative to continue to give extra support and attention to your children during divorce. Van Larson Law focuses on navigating you through your divorce in the most effective and stress-free manner. A significant aspect of that is providing you with the resources available to help your children during the transition.  

Five Tips for Helping Children Adjust During Divorce

During a divorce, children undergo many changes very rapidly. These changes in a child’s life can result in adverse childhood experiences. Adverse childhood experiences, or ACEs, can be traced to be the root of many challenging health and social problems later in life. A parent’s need to provide for and protect their children always comes as a top priority, but it can be difficult for one person to juggle all of the changes in their own life while giving the proper attention and support to their children. It could also be uncharted territory for the parent and they may be unsure of how to navigate the shift in their daily routine.  

Fortunately, there are many ways in which a parent can ensure their child is given the fairest treatment and attention during the divorce. Some points to consider when making parental arrangements include:

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IL divorce lawyerApproaching divorce for the first time can feel intimidating. Not only is there a lot to do, but the outcome of every little detail has the potential to impact your future in a major way. Fortunately, many people before you have tackled divorce and come out the other side in one piece. And with the help of a great attorney, you can do the same. Here are five important areas you will need to address in your Illinois divorce.

Property and Debt Division

All marital property and debt must be divided between spouses before a divorce can be finalized. Generally speaking, everything that was acquired by either spouse - including income, purchases, and credit card debt - will be considered marital property and must be divided equitably. Illinois is not a community property state, so the focus on dividing debt will be fairness rather than sameness.

Spousal Support

While many marriages do not include spousal support as part of their negotiations, many do. A general rule of thumb is that the longer you were married and the more dependent one spouse was on the other financially, the more likely it is that spousal support will be a part of the picture. It is important to understand that Illinois courts prefer spouses to negotiate their own divorce decrees whenever possible, so, for example, if you want to trade spousal support for another marital asset and your spouse agrees, a court is likely to approve your settlement.

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Il family lawyerOnce an Illinois couple with minor children decides to file for a divorce, one parent usually moves out of the marital home. Sometimes this relocation is local, but other times it may make sense to move further away, especially if there is a job change or a parent wants help with the children from their extended family. But while parents can move anywhere with their children while they are married, they are far more restricted about where they can go during and after divorce. If you are getting divorced in Illinois and want to move with your child, seek help from an experienced family law attorney.

Relocating During Divorce

Parents in Illinois who have a majority of parenting time can ask to relocate with their minor child after a divorce is over and a parenting agreement has been created. But until a divorce is finalized, neither parent has majority parenting time. This means parents cannot move away from their address at the time of divorce with a child without a judge deciding such a move would be in the child’s best interests.

Relocating After Divorce

Once a divorce has been finalized, parents living in the following counties must get permission before moving more than 25 miles from their current residence:

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IL divorce lawyerDivorce can be a long, stressful, and tedious process. Collecting paperwork, paying for attorneys, managing child visitation schedules, and waiting until the next available court date is incredibly burdensome. For many couples, a strategy called collaborative divorce can help mitigate the unpleasantness of the divorce process. While it may not entirely rid spouses of the logistical difficulties of getting divorced in Illinois, it does make the process far less contentious and more likely to produce an outcome both parties are satisfied with. To learn more about how collaborative divorce could benefit you and your family, read on.

How Does Collaborative Divorce Work?

The intention of collaborative divorce is to build a strong team of divorce professionals who assist a family as they transition through the divorce process while keeping conflict to a minimum. To that end, each spouse will have their own attorney who is committed to seeing the couple’s differences successfully resolved. Other professionals include child psychologists, child custody specialists, family therapists, financial advisors, and any other experts that can help spouses resolve conflict and create a beneficial divorce decree.

How Does Collaborative Divorce Benefit Families?

A collaborative process makes divorce easier for parents and children. For parents, the divorce process becomes much cheaper, faster, and less stressful by giving parents complete control over the terms of the divorce decree. Traditional divorce is far more costly and drawn-out, and couples whose divorce is decided by a judge are less likely to be satisfied with a judge’s decisions. Spouses generally feel like they get their needs heard and their priorities met, and, unlike court-ordered mediation, can take as long as necessary to negotiate their differences.

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IL divorce lawyerIllinois couples frequently get divorced because they struggle to communicate productively. Unfortunately, communication between high-conflict couples does not always get better once a divorce is finalized. But when a couple shares children, effective communication continues to be essential for many years to come as parents navigate the daily hurdles of school, extracurricular activities, healthcare, and more. If you are going through a divorce and hoping to maintain healthy communication habits throughout your co-parenting experience, here are some tips from divorce experts that may help.

Communicate in Writing Whenever Possible

Avoiding in-person discussions, including phone calls, helps many high-conflict couples avoid situations that can quickly escalate. Divorced spouses tend to be quite good at pushing each other’s buttons and in-person communication allows couples to easily fall into old communication patterns that involve contempt, sarcasm, or dismissiveness. Instead, experts suggest communicating only in writing. Email is the best option for this because it is less urgent than text messaging and allows both parties time to cool off between responses. It also allows both parties to keep each other’s messages, which can make everybody think more carefully about what they say.

Set Firm Boundaries

If you say that you will only communicate via email, stick to that at the beginning of your divorce and never waver unless absolutely necessary. Perhaps many months or years down the road, when some time has passed and the feelings of anger or hurt are no longer as strong, you can relax these boundaries. However, setting firm boundaries early on will make them easier to abide by later. And, of course, when your ex sets boundaries, do your best to respect them.

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