233 W. Wilson Street, Batavia, IL, 60510

Breaking it to the Kids That You Are Breaking Up

 Posted on May 18, 2015 in Kane County family law attorney

kids, talking to kids, Kane County Divorce LawyerDivorce is difficult. Divorce with kids is even more so. How you tell your kids that you and your spouse are getting divorced will have a lasting impact on both how they accept the news and your future relationship with them, independently and together. Presenting a unified front—even if you and your soon-to-be-ex are pretending to be united—is essential. In addition, there are several other things you can do to ease your child into the news of your separation.

The first is to ensure that all your planning about the future has been laid out. This means speaking with a family law attorney to determine custody and visitation arrangements. You should also have a schedule arranged, so that the child is well aware of what his new daily life will be like. According to Psychology Today, children—especially young children—do not deal well with change or transition. Children rely exclusively on adults to help them understand and make sense of the world around them; a sudden upheaval, such as divorce or separation, can throw their world into chaos.

Having a plan of attack for what will happen next can help to ease some of this emotional trauma. Bear in mind also that if the child is old enough, he will likely remember this moment for the rest of his life. Break the news on a day that does not have other important connotations, like a holiday. Also be sure that you have the time to spend with a child to help him adjust to the news after you tell  her. Avoid telling her the day before she goes to summer camp, for example.

Another important thing to keep in mind when you tell your children about your divorce is to avoid playing the blame game. Your child does not need to be in the middle of your arguments—or the reason for your divorce. It is completely acceptable, and even appropriate, to keep some things private.

If you are considering divorce, even before you tell the kids the most important step is to seek legal counsel. Contact an experienced Kane County family law attorney today. Our compassionate team can help with every step the divorce process and will work with you to provide the best possible outcome for your family.

Share this post:
Contact Information         Map and Directions
    • Location

      233 W. Wilson Street
      Batavia, IL 60510

      Mon – Fri: 8AM – 5PM
      Weekends and evenings by appointment. All phone calls and emails promptly and personally responded to and advise if emergency.

      Phone: (630) 879-9090

      Follow us

      Facebook    Twitter    Our Blog

    • Contact us

      NOTE: Fields with a * indicate a required field.
      *
      *
      *
      *
Illinois State Bar Association Kane County Bar Association
Serving Northern Illinois cities such as Algonquin, Aurora, Barrington Hills, Bartlett, Batavia, Big Rock, Burlington, Campton, Carpentersville, Dundee, East Dundee, Elburn, Elgin, Geneva, Gilberts, Hampshire, Huntley, Kaneville, Lily Lake, Maple Park, Montgomery, North Aurora, Plato, Sleepy Hollow, South Elgin, St. Charles, Sugar Grove, Virgil, Wayne, West Chicago, West Dundee, Yorkville, Afton, Clinton, Cortland, DeKalb, Franklin, Genoa, Hinckley, Kingston, Kirkland, Lee, Malta, Maple Park, Mayfield, Milan, Paw Paw, Pierce, Sandwich, Shabbona, Somonauk, South Grove, Squaw Grove, Sycamore, Victor, Waterman, Big Grove, Boulder Hill, Bristol, Joliet, Kendall, Lisbon, Minooka, Montgomery, Oswego, Plainfield, Plano, Sandwich, Yorkville as well as Kane County, Kendall County and DeKalb County.
© 2015 Law Office of Van A. Larson, P.C. | 233 W. Wilson Street, Batavia, IL, 60510 | 630-879-9090     Disclaimer   |    Privacy Policy   |    Sitemap
Powered by OVC